responsibility is to self

God was never some ominous figure looking down on us...watching to judge our missteps and punish us...our karma becomes our jury… our consequences become our verdict…we are Allah when we operate with the underlying Love that is the common cord linking every living thing…we literally are Yahweh when we move in love, compassion, and understanding…we manifest Jehovah when our actions are purest…Love is Who we pray to, to Whom we request our wants…how we let Love use us is up to us…our abundance of It or our lack of It is an individual decision we make at every moment.

basis of imperfection

The world is not perfect. The world will never be perfect.  Because the nature of man is imperfect, all that we become is imperfect. No, I’m not being cynical, I think it’s important to state that so that we are being realistic in our solutions. 

What do you do well? Our talents extend far beyond the manner in which we use them. We are to be trained in the best utilization of our talents and gifts. We are to be reflective and focused.  We are to enjoy life so that we can express boundless love. We must love ourselves first. We must understand ourselves first. Every second of our existences has meaning.

Surely there is enough work to be done to improve the world’s condition. Surely there must be things you want to improve. Is everything that you are actually what you hope to be?  We must give our energy to those things which will build our ideal selves.

now and ever.

My curiosity about life and the human experience continues to abound.
I overdose on perspective, recovering each time with new eyes of understanding.
My defiance to the status quo - the roles, the boxes that people build for me, has increased exponentially. 
Levels of subservient accommodation are at an all time low. 
I am different. 
My evolution is here. 
My evolution is infinite. 
I am so entirely driven to feel, to create, to love and to achieve happiness. 
I will take nothing less than I legitimately deserve, nor will I take more. 
My expectations are of me and no other. 
In the abstract I value life, I manifest this by valuing each individual. 
I feel like I'm doing this right. 
I really hope so.

No Martyr

Death is such a natural thing. We are literally born to die – it’s the only way to continue cycles of life; the goal is to respect it, live it deliberately and try to enlighten ourselves and/or enlighten a few people along the way.  Our purpose here could be little more than to push someone else along, or more coveted is when our existence is used to transform a nation, a culture or a mindset.   I used to be scared to die, and work to come to resolve with the fear associated with loss. The root of this is change, and death reminds us each time that change is mostly an unexpected entity that comes to disrupt our lives and kill our spirits, even if just momentarily.  Although not completely true, it certainly invokes emotions that we generally try to hide – sadness, crying, regret.  Why death touches us so profoundly is completely personal; it should not be minimized, devalued or overlooked but it should not be a martyring tool.  No perfect person ever walked foot on this earth, so when I die, please don’t try to peg me as such.

Ambitious Nobody

My goals for myself are surely no more important than your goals for yourself. As much as I may want to believe that I take precedence over others, this simply is not the case.  Too often we consider ourselves to be failures because we succumb to the trap of comparisons. Do I have what s/he has; Can I do what s/he does?  Your task here on earth to to pay it forward. We can't control one thing that happened before the day we were born; however, we are completely responsible for the world that we exist in and how that world functions after we are gone.

I have mastered the Tools of Exclusion and Inclusion to create an environment ideal for my personality; however, that is for my personality as it is, not necessarily as I want it to be.  Although I get caught up in the individualistic ideals at times, I always come back to my desire to do what's in the best interest of everyone I come in contact with. This doesn't mean I'll always be liked, praised or thanked. It does mean that after our interaction, if I've done my best, I've contributed in some way to myself and/or someone else.

A dangerous occurrence - I've found out what folks are awed about. I know how to exploit it when I want to, I know how to hide it when it suits me.  I should never hide it, and should use it to the benefit of not only myself, but implement a more pointed plan toward the success of others.

I am being called, pulled and forced toward something that I'm not yet certain of. I do know that it involves the betterment of man, the good of the collective and the consciousness of folk. Let's just see. Until I figure out my real purpose, I'm nothing more than an ambitious nobody.

Keep your opinions, I have my own; give me your facts, now those I'll own.

Church, Religion and Spirituality

Lost its value, has no value and invaluable.

Plan for Yourself Or Become Part of Another's

• Your journey in this life is just that, your journey in your life. It becomes subject to the will of others when we attempt to order our steps by another [wo]man or combination of [wo]men.  Comparison and contrasting are heavily employed tools, improperly used when it comes to centering and grounding ourselves. My progress is determined by my own hopes, desires and wishes, and are not based on those of another. Some of us haven't really gotten to know ourselves well enough to articulate what ours are. I do know this - if you don't have a plan for yourself, you'll soon become part of someone else's.

Do You Really Want It Bad Enough?

When I started working with urban youth in Chicago in 2002, I was finishing my undergraduate Physiology degree in preparation for a Physical Therapy program.  A man came to speak to my Movement Science class and asked if folks were interested in jobs. Of course!  Well his pitch was weak and vague, but the money was decent and because I genuinely liked young people (and basketball), I signed on.  I remember that first day stepping off the bus on Roosevelt Rd near California Ave and being completely culture shocked.  Dirty diapers, miscellaneous fast food and convenient wrappers along with other assorted debris lined the streets. Hustlers selling some of everything calling out to lure you over.  Suspicious-looking folk everywhere, but I assumed the best.  I walked into my first school (Collins High School, pre-restructure), checked in at the office and proceeded to the gym.  I walked in to about 30 rowdy, loud, cursing and fussing Black high school youth.  I had to quickly re-calibrate myself, expecting a pretty quiet atmosphere where students would be ready to listen and engage.  Ha! Those three assignments (Collins, Manley and Austin high schools) were my Beautiful Struggle Introduction to the failing education system of Chicago.

I assumed so ignorantly that even though these students emanated from somewhat different backgrounds, essentially all kids have the same desires in and knowledge of life. This of course is modeled and taught information that leads to appropriate behaviors; it is not inherent or hereditary.  As we all understand, at the very least from simply living our lives, that we are products of our environments; early in life those people and things that are provided us and later as adults those people and things we provide to ourselves.

I digressed.  I had my lesson plan and talking points, but what I didn't have was any type of classroom management strategy.  It was difficult at first, but as these students began to understand how much I cared about them, we made strides. It was never perfect, there was always an incident that stemmed from another incident that may have happened at school earlier or baggage they carried in from the streets, but we persevered.  I began to learn about the myriad of factors that mold Black urban youth.   I began to understand that although I too was Black, I could not automatically relate to their struggles, discovering the real implications of classism as a tool to further divide.

I'm writing about these youth because I came to associate several common characteristics with many of the hundreds of students I've worked with:

-Poor understanding  of delayed gratification
-Poor understanding of the world (or even city) around them
-Unrealistic expectations for their lives based on the amount of work they were willing to put in

I've come to now recognize these same commonalities in adults who generally feel their lives are less successful than they would have desired.  Likely they too shared the above characteristics as youngsters due to other higher-priority happenings (abuse, fear, abandonment/neglect, survival, etc) and/or failure of the adults in their lives to provide clear definitions of Wants and Needs.  It manifests today in adults feeling powerless and relinquishing control of their lives to whatever unproductive yet attractive sirens who sing catchy tunes.

We are resilient folk. We can make anything happen physically, once we commit mentally.  Time travel is not yet here! Stop sulking over past situations which I guarantee can not be altered. They were what they were, and you are who you are.  BUT, who you are is not who you have to be.  If you desire to make changes to your life then just start choosing toward them. You have to want it bad enough, you have to commit to a plan and you have to execute.  If you don't know how find someone to help or start some basic research.  Research? Yes, whenever we want to know something we research.  If you want to know the last person Lil Wayne got pregnant, guess what you are going to do? Ask someone or use your trusty computer.  That easy, right?

We can't change what happened 20 years ago, 10 years ago or even 10 minutes ago, we can though take time right this moment to modify our plans, our thoughts, our actions.  Whether you want to accept it or not, you have committed to your life as it is right now, for better or for worse.  Thankfully, changing ourselves is easier than changing mates, so divorce those unproductive ways of behaving and live a holistically satisfying life.  Amen.    

        

It Has Always Been In You

So I seem to be stuck on the subject of envy because I feel that it fuels much of the dissent and ill-will in our relationships.  What we can not avoid is that we have been groomed into our beliefs and understandings in terms of relating to people, which is also reinforced with every mainstream movie, reality show and song. 

We are essentially taught to sit back and watch a select few live a grandiose life, while we sit back and "ooh' and "aah", wishing we too could have the same opportunities. More harmful than the doe eyes is our gross consumption of these "stars" and their lives. We want to watch them, listen to them, buy what they buy (which we cannot afford), eat what they endorse (because they don't really eat that), and be what they are without the intense work and efforts they put it. What we see in others as enlightening we could also see in ourselves. It takes movement, prioritizing, praying, loving and reciprocation.

Imagine mastering the art of the reciprocal relationship, where you can find any resource you need by building appropriate, healthy relationships with people from the start, and when you are in need of something you receive it without hesitation and often without asking. People will literally come to you offering!

You have this in you, you really do. We were born perfect, and this world gradually corrupts us, but we must make the cognizant choice to resist what we know is not of benefit to us, and seek what we know is.