Do You Really Want It Bad Enough?

When I started working with urban youth in Chicago in 2002, I was finishing my undergraduate Physiology degree in preparation for a Physical Therapy program.  A man came to speak to my Movement Science class and asked if folks were interested in jobs. Of course!  Well his pitch was weak and vague, but the money was decent and because I genuinely liked young people (and basketball), I signed on.  I remember that first day stepping off the bus on Roosevelt Rd near California Ave and being completely culture shocked.  Dirty diapers, miscellaneous fast food and convenient wrappers along with other assorted debris lined the streets. Hustlers selling some of everything calling out to lure you over.  Suspicious-looking folk everywhere, but I assumed the best.  I walked into my first school (Collins High School, pre-restructure), checked in at the office and proceeded to the gym.  I walked in to about 30 rowdy, loud, cursing and fussing Black high school youth.  I had to quickly re-calibrate myself, expecting a pretty quiet atmosphere where students would be ready to listen and engage.  Ha! Those three assignments (Collins, Manley and Austin high schools) were my Beautiful Struggle Introduction to the failing education system of Chicago.

I assumed so ignorantly that even though these students emanated from somewhat different backgrounds, essentially all kids have the same desires in and knowledge of life. This of course is modeled and taught information that leads to appropriate behaviors; it is not inherent or hereditary.  As we all understand, at the very least from simply living our lives, that we are products of our environments; early in life those people and things that are provided us and later as adults those people and things we provide to ourselves.

I digressed.  I had my lesson plan and talking points, but what I didn't have was any type of classroom management strategy.  It was difficult at first, but as these students began to understand how much I cared about them, we made strides. It was never perfect, there was always an incident that stemmed from another incident that may have happened at school earlier or baggage they carried in from the streets, but we persevered.  I began to learn about the myriad of factors that mold Black urban youth.   I began to understand that although I too was Black, I could not automatically relate to their struggles, discovering the real implications of classism as a tool to further divide.

I'm writing about these youth because I came to associate several common characteristics with many of the hundreds of students I've worked with:

-Poor understanding  of delayed gratification
-Poor understanding of the world (or even city) around them
-Unrealistic expectations for their lives based on the amount of work they were willing to put in

I've come to now recognize these same commonalities in adults who generally feel their lives are less successful than they would have desired.  Likely they too shared the above characteristics as youngsters due to other higher-priority happenings (abuse, fear, abandonment/neglect, survival, etc) and/or failure of the adults in their lives to provide clear definitions of Wants and Needs.  It manifests today in adults feeling powerless and relinquishing control of their lives to whatever unproductive yet attractive sirens who sing catchy tunes.

We are resilient folk. We can make anything happen physically, once we commit mentally.  Time travel is not yet here! Stop sulking over past situations which I guarantee can not be altered. They were what they were, and you are who you are.  BUT, who you are is not who you have to be.  If you desire to make changes to your life then just start choosing toward them. You have to want it bad enough, you have to commit to a plan and you have to execute.  If you don't know how find someone to help or start some basic research.  Research? Yes, whenever we want to know something we research.  If you want to know the last person Lil Wayne got pregnant, guess what you are going to do? Ask someone or use your trusty computer.  That easy, right?

We can't change what happened 20 years ago, 10 years ago or even 10 minutes ago, we can though take time right this moment to modify our plans, our thoughts, our actions.  Whether you want to accept it or not, you have committed to your life as it is right now, for better or for worse.  Thankfully, changing ourselves is easier than changing mates, so divorce those unproductive ways of behaving and live a holistically satisfying life.  Amen.