Do You Really Want It Bad Enough?

When I started working with urban youth in Chicago in 2002, I was finishing my undergraduate Physiology degree in preparation for a Physical Therapy program.  A man came to speak to my Movement Science class and asked if folks were interested in jobs. Of course!  Well his pitch was weak and vague, but the money was decent and because I genuinely liked young people (and basketball), I signed on.  I remember that first day stepping off the bus on Roosevelt Rd near California Ave and being completely culture shocked.  Dirty diapers, miscellaneous fast food and convenient wrappers along with other assorted debris lined the streets. Hustlers selling some of everything calling out to lure you over.  Suspicious-looking folk everywhere, but I assumed the best.  I walked into my first school (Collins High School, pre-restructure), checked in at the office and proceeded to the gym.  I walked in to about 30 rowdy, loud, cursing and fussing Black high school youth.  I had to quickly re-calibrate myself, expecting a pretty quiet atmosphere where students would be ready to listen and engage.  Ha! Those three assignments (Collins, Manley and Austin high schools) were my Beautiful Struggle Introduction to the failing education system of Chicago.

I assumed so ignorantly that even though these students emanated from somewhat different backgrounds, essentially all kids have the same desires in and knowledge of life. This of course is modeled and taught information that leads to appropriate behaviors; it is not inherent or hereditary.  As we all understand, at the very least from simply living our lives, that we are products of our environments; early in life those people and things that are provided us and later as adults those people and things we provide to ourselves.

I digressed.  I had my lesson plan and talking points, but what I didn't have was any type of classroom management strategy.  It was difficult at first, but as these students began to understand how much I cared about them, we made strides. It was never perfect, there was always an incident that stemmed from another incident that may have happened at school earlier or baggage they carried in from the streets, but we persevered.  I began to learn about the myriad of factors that mold Black urban youth.   I began to understand that although I too was Black, I could not automatically relate to their struggles, discovering the real implications of classism as a tool to further divide.

I'm writing about these youth because I came to associate several common characteristics with many of the hundreds of students I've worked with:

-Poor understanding  of delayed gratification
-Poor understanding of the world (or even city) around them
-Unrealistic expectations for their lives based on the amount of work they were willing to put in

I've come to now recognize these same commonalities in adults who generally feel their lives are less successful than they would have desired.  Likely they too shared the above characteristics as youngsters due to other higher-priority happenings (abuse, fear, abandonment/neglect, survival, etc) and/or failure of the adults in their lives to provide clear definitions of Wants and Needs.  It manifests today in adults feeling powerless and relinquishing control of their lives to whatever unproductive yet attractive sirens who sing catchy tunes.

We are resilient folk. We can make anything happen physically, once we commit mentally.  Time travel is not yet here! Stop sulking over past situations which I guarantee can not be altered. They were what they were, and you are who you are.  BUT, who you are is not who you have to be.  If you desire to make changes to your life then just start choosing toward them. You have to want it bad enough, you have to commit to a plan and you have to execute.  If you don't know how find someone to help or start some basic research.  Research? Yes, whenever we want to know something we research.  If you want to know the last person Lil Wayne got pregnant, guess what you are going to do? Ask someone or use your trusty computer.  That easy, right?

We can't change what happened 20 years ago, 10 years ago or even 10 minutes ago, we can though take time right this moment to modify our plans, our thoughts, our actions.  Whether you want to accept it or not, you have committed to your life as it is right now, for better or for worse.  Thankfully, changing ourselves is easier than changing mates, so divorce those unproductive ways of behaving and live a holistically satisfying life.  Amen.    

        

It Has Always Been In You

So I seem to be stuck on the subject of envy because I feel that it fuels much of the dissent and ill-will in our relationships.  What we can not avoid is that we have been groomed into our beliefs and understandings in terms of relating to people, which is also reinforced with every mainstream movie, reality show and song. 

We are essentially taught to sit back and watch a select few live a grandiose life, while we sit back and "ooh' and "aah", wishing we too could have the same opportunities. More harmful than the doe eyes is our gross consumption of these "stars" and their lives. We want to watch them, listen to them, buy what they buy (which we cannot afford), eat what they endorse (because they don't really eat that), and be what they are without the intense work and efforts they put it. What we see in others as enlightening we could also see in ourselves. It takes movement, prioritizing, praying, loving and reciprocation.

Imagine mastering the art of the reciprocal relationship, where you can find any resource you need by building appropriate, healthy relationships with people from the start, and when you are in need of something you receive it without hesitation and often without asking. People will literally come to you offering!

You have this in you, you really do. We were born perfect, and this world gradually corrupts us, but we must make the cognizant choice to resist what we know is not of benefit to us, and seek what we know is.

My Wish For All Those I Know

Success is not easy, recalling the gentleman's discussion from the video "The Truth".  I consider myself to be on a pretty successful path and even I was taken aback, because I know I slack sometimes when I could go harder.  What makes us gravitate toward collective averageness? In this mindset those trying to do more are considered overly confident or arrogant.  When we complain and wallow, people rally around us. When we celebrate and progress, people feign excitement or simply can't celebrate because this highlights their failure to be more.

I also keep reflecting on the quote by Marianne Williamson which formed part of Nelson Mandela's inaugural speech.   She so perfectly sums up my hopes for those around me and beyond me.  We spend time trying to hold each other back or at bay to hide our own insecurities and inadequacies; instead of developing our existences we decide that it's much less work to stay where we are and commit to the limitation of others.

My goal is to inspire and to be inspired so that I can inspire some more. Not to make you feel I think the world of myself, but to show that you must have confidence in yourself and in what you do, no matter what. People may not like my writing, my music, my insight, my knowledge or my dedication.  But do you know what? I love my writing, my music, my insight, my knowledge and my dedication. My love of these things does not hinge or rely on how many comments, accolades or acknowledgments I receive. You do not need this validation.  Do not let folks smother you from their fear of inadequacy.

Your Playing Small does not Serve the World

Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God

Your playing small does not serve the world
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone
And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give
other people the right to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.

Everything in this life is about choices, our own, because even when someone forces us to react based on choices they made that affect us, we still have to decide how we will react.  Choose toward success. Choose toward Him. Choose toward collective uplifting.

Be the Change You Wish to See

The level of misery in the world at large, and more importantly in some of the folks I actually interact with, is awful.  I see people soak in their stew of shit, adding ingredients, warming it up and then wonder why their lives stink so badly. Instead of advice, they'd rather have pity. Instead of help, they'd rather have sympathy. Instead of progress, they'd rather spend their time trying to limit others. Me, perfect? Hell no, but I will say this - I am in constant thought and reflection on how I can improve myself for those around me. You ask my advice, I'm coming straight from the School of Thought that creates cycles of goodness. If you're looking for coddling with no lesson, ask someone else.

On Revealing Myself

I've always been good at a lot of things, but have always taken the path that was most practical and sensical, because I was too afraid to stray from what people assumed should be happening in my life.  What a dreary and drab state in which to exist!  My poetry has always been an outlet, and over the past several years the words have formed lines and lyrics, setting the stage  for them to be combined with music and voila! The big reveal, because what no one knew is that since I was in the 8th grade I wanted to be a musician of words, not so much a rapper but combining thoughtful words with music.  This feels realllly good.

Quitting my day job? Not likely, lol! But me, my Bluebird mic, my Saffire 6, Mac and Logic Pro 9 are definitely having a good time in my walk-in closet...

View my works at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealLifeSituation?feature=mhsn